tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7605259643334556991.post1927311208552099192..comments2018-03-15T19:54:23.629-07:00Comments on ~Our Family~ ~Our Rules~: My Pet Peeves in our search and along our journey....Our Family Our Ruleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08572836948695825241noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7605259643334556991.post-62190010575299758232011-05-27T14:13:46.557-07:002011-05-27T14:13:46.557-07:00Stumbled across your blog, and just had two cents ...Stumbled across your blog, and just had two cents to give you (I am familiar with both polygamy and polyamory). I have a husband and a wife myself.<br /><br />Regarding your #1, it was my experience that when I first started "dating" my husband, I was jealous of his relationship with his wife because I admired the comfortable relationship he had with her. Our new relationship was fraught with all the giddy and overwhelming emotions that come with the territory. I worried I was expendable, especially since we were navigating new waters and he had her comfort to turn to.<br /><br />Eventually I realized I had to take things slow. But NRE (New Relationship Energy) can work a person over. <br /><br />Regarding #4, I think that you get what you put out there. It appears you have been straightforward that you are (were) looking for a third, a partner, a commitment, a Wife. So of course you are going to get women who respond, "So when do we get married?" <br /><br />Finally, #5 offended me. I know, who cares you offended some stranger in blogland. But please hear me out. I consider myself polyamorous, not polygamous, though your family (counting your new paramour and all the kids) and my family look almost identical, and have many of the same values. We are a closed triad (polyfidelous). My family formed because we were friends who loved each other and wanted nothing else than to spend our lives together, have a family together and we all make each other happy. My hubby and wife weren't seeking a second wife to make their family complete. But I came along, and we realized we could multiply our joy by being together, so we are. That is polyamory (to me). The sex or lack of sex, the number or lack of numbers of partners, the "free love," etc., does not define polyamory. My loves and I are not looking for love - we have found it - but we are not so naive as to think we are complete now that we are three. We are complete as ones, as twos, as threes, as whatever happens to be. <br /><br />You say polyamory is sometimes without relationship, but I don't understand what you mean by that. There are hundreds of definitions of poly out there, some contradicting, some requiring sex to be a component of the definition, some not. However, every definition I have found involves some sort of relationship of some kind.<br /><br />Just, I ask, be careful how you judge your situation in relation to others. And don't think that just because someone doesn't define their love-style the way you do, that they aren't seeking something similar to you. And be careful about judging women who are acting straightforward towards you, because they may be following your queue. <br /><br />Good luck in your new relationship!~Heidi~https://www.blogger.com/profile/04235412875651194788noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7605259643334556991.post-27740450143767244012009-06-15T18:44:37.708-07:002009-06-15T18:44:37.708-07:00ChristianFundyMom,
Unlike some plural minded or p...ChristianFundyMom,<br /><br />Unlike some plural minded or plural men, I'm not looking to brow beat some woman or Bible Thump them into submission. Nor am I looking for someone to change. That may be the case for some, but not me. <br /><br />I am only writing about women that we have come across in the past. I'm not looking speaking about all women looking for a plural relationship. That is important to point out.<br /><br />You can't generalize or stereotype all plural men any more than you can all plural women. I have thought about posting a topic about plural men I have pet peeves about well, I find that I run into quite a few of them who seem to be doing it for reasons that are disengenuious to their wife and women seeking plural marriage. This is something that bothers me quite a bit. I don't like getting lumped in as being the same as they are, which is one of the reasons I started my blog. <br /><br />M and I both rely on God for guidance, that is important. M and I pray on a regular basis. (although we are far from Bible thumpers) We believe that God will send us the right woman at the time of his choosing. But, that doesn't mean that God can't use the internet to send us the right person, does it? People lie in regular dating as well. Often in IM you can find out more about a person than you could on several dates. <br /><br />We ultimately leave it in God's hands. <br /><br />ScottOur Family Our Ruleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08572836948695825241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7605259643334556991.post-42313554155004760352009-06-15T05:00:04.523-07:002009-06-15T05:00:04.523-07:00hahaha...I know many men who search out young '...hahaha...I know many men who search out young 'gals' and will do EVERYTHING in their power to CHANGE them..Bible beat them until they unwilling go into submission just because they want him to SHUT UP!!I think it works both ways..It's a weird thing to a polygamist now a days :P I found online dating to be useless. People usually lie about themselves and if it is too good to be true, it usually is. I rely on Heavenly Father for guidance, or try too :) <br /><br />What a way to see into the mind of a man though..Kind of has me wanting to do something on the annoyances of a man in a plural relationship..hahaha<br /><br />All in Good humor and fun!<br /><br />In Love<br />ChristianFundymomYasteFamilyRamblingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09862266268145339076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7605259643334556991.post-19175392938887731902009-06-08T07:21:31.389-07:002009-06-08T07:21:31.389-07:00That is a cracking good post, and its great to see...That is a cracking good post, and its great to see it from a mans point of view.. hey any women looking at this is going to get is straight away..<br /><br />looking forward to future posts<br />minty.<br /><br />p.s. i am not looking for plural marriage i am already in one :D<br /><br />i have added you to my blog roll hope that is okay.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7605259643334556991.post-38473027999846532002009-06-07T09:52:21.339-07:002009-06-07T09:52:21.339-07:00Oh man...that was a really good post. I was nervou...Oh man...that was a really good post. I was nervous and laughing the whole time! lol. You are one of those guys who are funny without even knowing it. And I only know you through the internet...I wonder if you are the same way in real life...<br /><br />I started getting nervous reading the "opinions" section. I think I might fall into that category. Don't worry though. All you have to do is open up and argue (in a non-fighting way) with me. Fun, huh? lol<br /><br />I like this post a lot. It's good to know what bothers you and what is unacceptable. Thank God I've been honest with you via IM and my blog...and I haven't called you "baby" LOL. <br /><br />Jeeze.Ericahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02915364073039422334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7605259643334556991.post-29581452117848350922009-06-07T07:18:39.101-07:002009-06-07T07:18:39.101-07:00Great job articulating this, Scott. You hit the n...Great job articulating this, Scott. You hit the nail on the head: honesty and openness. And yes, for cryin' out loud, GO SLOW! Friends first, then fast friends, then courting, and then, and only then, discussions of marriage. That is my pet peeve--putting the cart before the horse.<br /><br />~DOlder and Weiserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00201486776769991800noreply@blogger.com